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Thanksgiving weekend, November 2003 Borrowing from the tactics of early 20th Century Surrealists, the following is the result of a variation of Exquisite Corpse, in which one writes a conditional statement, and another writes a future statement, without seeing the first conditional. Authors: Kerry, Dana, Rick, Kiran, Mike, and Melissa.
If all children looked identical to their parents A tear would flow from the eye of a giant. If global warming wasn’t actually a manufactured farce Jesus would love you back. If cheese weren’t so yummy. All waters would stand still. Were a heard of elephants to appear in downtown Seattle Then I do because I only learned how yesterday. If my small intestines could stretch across many football fields Maybe then I would care. If women weren’t so smart All birds would fly together. If Rick grew his mustache Then the smallest of creatures could all be killed after one thorough hand-washing. If one keeps going upon reaching the end of the world Then we’d never know happiness. If we don’t get there before dark Then you will know everything. When everyone has enough to eat The lonely child would find a friend. If I hadn’t lost my virginity to a neighbor No one would pay attention. If god is real Then all will be revealed. [Alternate ending: Then drop your pants!] If we all made sweet love A bright star would fall from the sky. Should the world stop spinning Then that means we could swim in the ocean in December. Even if a woman climbs a moutain Then we would never appreciate the moon. When young children stand in line No one would believe it. If bread arrived by magic Then we could tether them together for the tandem ride of the century. Because fish had gone bad Then babies would never learn to walk. If flowers could sing Then George Washington would turn over in his grave. If my stomach turns at the sight of bloody wounds Then you will truly go mad. |