Chie & I went to an art party at the invitation of KK and Jeff last night. Other Capgasserz were in attendance and it felt good to see those folks I'm connected to through our recently departed friend/founders. The thing is, their move out East reminds me of others who have moved away, many of whom I talk with once a year, and see every 4 or 5 years. Many others I have lost touch with all together. I am reminded at how transient and precious the time with those we love is, even with the enduring connections of memory and spirit.

It really does feel like the end of an era, and the beginning of a new one. Chie and I leave for Japan next week, and I start internship almost immediately upon my return. With work and classes and internship, my whole waking life (and probably my dreams as well) will be filled with focus, leaving very little time for the other aspects of my life's passions. Music, film, and social activities will all have to take the far back burners. I'm excited and scared.

Yesterday I felt weak and sick. Seattle was stormy, and seemed to mirror my internal state both physically and emotionally. It marked the day Melle & MSG left here to live free or die. There were a number of bon voyage events in the preceding weeks, and this has been coming for awhile, but somehow it wasn't enough to feel settled or complete or resolved about the loss.

Those two are family to me, and I don't just mean I feel close or attached to them -- I mean they are the kind of mirrors which teach you who you are through interests and activities, and love and caring, but also through pride and envy, and anger and frustration. A full spectrum of emotions which can be tolerated without threatening the deep attachment and connection. This kind of friendship is rare indeed.